A Trend Toward Good or Evil?

A couple months ago, my husband decided to fly the American flag outside out house without a great deal of thought about it.  The next day, he put the flag out again. And the day after.  Soon it was a habit, and the Red White & Blue has been outside our house on every sunny day since. Then the guy down the street decided to fly the flag at his house too. Then the family across the street from him. Then the woman the next court over.  Flags now fly all over our neighborhood everyday.

My husband hadn’t intended to start a trend, but his simple act, repeated a couple times, had a noticeable effect.  The flag flying is nice. Aside from the patriotism, it brightens up the neighborhood, and shows that people care about where they live. But what if he’d done something different? What if he’d left stopped mowing the lawn on a regular basis or if I didn’t weed the beds in the front of the house? Most of us have seen that happen, too. Then, we (speaking as the neighbors) take a break from working in our yards on a steamy summer day and think, “My yard doesn’t look too bad compared to Mark’s.” We call it quits, satisfied because we aren’t the worst yard in the neighborhood.  A new trend is started – one for the worse.

This same principle applies to all of our actions or inactions. Every deed and word from our mouths becomes a role model for others, whether we mean it to or not.

A woman setting up a seminar tried to get me to speak at it by claiming I had already agreed. She’d probably seen people lie to avoid a jam or get something they needed. So she did as well. I’m sure she didn’t think it would cause any harm, and she was probably under a lot of pressure from her company to line up speakers with good credentials. But the road to Hell is paved with good intentions and mapped out with shortcuts.  She and other people who have intentionally misspoken to get their way show us all that lying is acceptable.

It isn’t easy to do the right thing – to follow those rules we learned as children – when those around you are not and have no repercussions or even receive rewards for breaking the rules. All of us fail often, but still, each of us can start a trend with our own neighbors, colleagues, peers and friends simply by choosing to act truthfully, respectfully and with kindness.  People are watching you. So what kind of trend will you start? One that encourages positive acts? Or will you inspire more evil? The choice is yours.

So You’re Not Voldemort. So What?

Fiction has created some great characters as the embodiment of pure evil. Voldemort in the Harry Potter series, Sauron in Lord of the Rings, Evil (by definition) in Time Bandits, and perhaps the Baron Harkonnen in Dune are good examples. Real life rarely creates such clear examples of evil, although Adolf Hitler may be the exception to that rule. For the most part, however, this level of evil exists only in fiction. And yet, people seem to cling to it as proof that they are “good.” Even worse, they demand the happy endings they see in fiction.

Why do I say this? Because I see it frequently in my law practice. All of my clients are “good” people, in that they aren’t malicious. They are  honest, hard-working folk who hold some sort of professional license and have made mistakes. The nurse who, during a hectic shift, makes a medication error but the patient, fortunately, isn’t harmed. The pharmacist who, in the stressful mail-order prescription world, repeatedly mis-counts pills. The doctor who signs drug order forms completed by her staff without recognizing they are incorrect. These are mistakes and they happen. But about a third of my clients have difficulty accepting that they must endure consequences for their actions. They tell me that others have done worse, or that they didn’t intend to do anything wrong. And because of this, they firmly believe nothing should happen to them. Essentially, they are saying they aren’t evil, so there should be no consequences. But that isn’t how things work – in the real world or in fiction.

Consider Paul Atreides in Dune. He single-mindedly seeks revenge on his enemies for his father’s death, but at what cost? For him, the price is paid with the murder of his infant son, and perhaps, with his own sanity. Or think of Harry Potter. His relentless pursuit of Voldemort, disregarding the advice of those around him, costs his godfather his life. The protagonists in these novels are far from perfect, and their flaws and mistakes have serious consequences, even though they were well-intentioned.

Everyone makes mistakes and most should be given a second chance. But having a second chance is not the same as wiping the slate clean. Actions, whether intended or not, have consequences, and trust takes effort to restore. The consequences cannot be avoided.

In other words, you don’t get a free pass in life, simply because you aren’t Voldemort.